Being Sick

So I'm down with a terrible health condition - that's a bit over the top, but I always pride myself for being super healthy and rarely catch a cold or fever.

Which is why when I was down with a fever for almost a week, I got a bit anxious. What if I have this, what if it was that, what if...what if...

After the awkward date episode, my tongue ulcer reached its peak. Anyone who had an ulcer before knows that ulcers usually have its slaying head moment during the third to fifth day of its unwelcome existence. So I had to bear that while at the same time my gum wasn't anywhere better. The fever and diarrhoea the night before didn't help either to reduce my already moody and depressed state from the date and life generally.

So I decided to see a dentist thinking all these might be related to my oral problem. The dentist then prescribed me with Metronidazole which is some pretty strong shit, and literally shit, like it makes you poop...a lot. My sister (the doctor) said the med covers digestive infection too, and I was put on the antibacteria because the dentist thought my gum condition was caused by bacterial infection.

At the same time, I felt some burning sensation in my throat that progressed to a much worse condition a couple of days later. I had difficulty swallowing, and I wasn't even coughing to make it seems like it was inflammed from overcoughing etc. The fever on the other hand stayed with me during this whole ordeal.

Having all these together just keep feeding into my health anxiety. Being sexually active, this can be a bit alarming since like I mentioned, I do rarely get sick and I might have caught something from someone. So to clear up my mind and finding out what exactly made me sick, I went to sexual health clinic to get a full sexual health test. A lot of the symptoms I have are similar to those that could come from STDs, but the surest way to know is by getting tested.

I spent a bit of time in the clinic, talking to a health councillor after getting my samples taken to really just talk about my anxiety. He spent almost 45 minutes on me trying to present different scenarios of what might happen realistically, and that I had low risk from our conversation of how I conducted myself during sex i.e. use protection without question, and that if I ever tested positive, what would it mean really and why does it bothers me.

In a way, I felt a bit better from my session with him. I'm not sure if such a service is given in Malaysia, because all these are all free of charge, and I just had to walk in really and say what my problem was. Not only they were helpful, they went to a great length to make sure that I feel ok. And talking about sexual activity with your doctor is really important, and I cannot stress this enough. For many reasons really, but I'm not sure how open would doctors in Malaysia to hear about my promiscuity when I had to disclose these information for health purposes.

Anyhow, the health councillor said he'll keep an eye on my test and called me when they're done with the result. Usually it'll take about 10 days for you to get your result back, but I received a call from the doctor the very next day and was informed that I was negative. It was a relief to hear, but it didn't rule out that my condition must be caused by something. At this point, I couldn't even put food in my mouth. All I could go for in one day was an omelette, a piece of bread and mushroom soup - with difficulty in swallowing all of these. I suspected that I might have a throat infection instead and decided to go to a general clinic to get it checked.

As it turned out, it was a throat infection indeed. Strep throat more precisely. After checking the symptoms online, it matches with all that I had. I was prescribed Penicillin for my throat and had to take that for 10 days. I was still on Metronidazole, and only God knows how terrible the side effects of these strong antibiotics are.

It's been a week now and I feel generally much better. I still get a bit burning feeling when swallowing, and my tongue suddenly becomes very dry. It's hard to go on the day with the malaise, which I think is what the antibiotics are giving me now. Still I had to finish its course. The challenge in all this is that my final submission is next week and I had dropped an email in the middle of the week to my supervisor saying I'm ill. I thought I could get it done by the end of the week feeling strong with my condition, but clearly I'm not Wolverine that could heal myself. So I still have to endure the work among all these. Perhaps I'll stay at the library tomorrow to push myself to finish it so that I can get a proper rest while the antibiotics go to town in my body.

Oh before I end, being sick got me thinking that it might be the time to ease up on certain things in my life as well. That being deleting profiles on dating apps and focusing on being healthy after this episode - physically and mentally. I know I said this before, but I think this sickness is like a slap in the face for me to start practicing some abstinence finally.