Better

I'm feeling much better now, the ulcer and throat pain have subsided a couple of days ago. But I noticed I have lost my usual appetite. I eat less and don't seem to be craving for food like I used to. So I lost some weight, and the antibiotics still give me some discomfort but nothing major I can't handle.

I just met my supervisor today for the last time. My final submission is next week, and there're couple of things I have to amend for the thesis. I'm doing Master's if any of you is wondering, and I'm planning to stop my study at this stage for a while. It's quite easy to just continue doing PhD and all, there're so many offers, but I feel like I need a break from studying and start gaining real life experience so to speak.

And I'm not seeing anyone for a week now, and intend to stay that way until I decide it's time for me to be out and about again. It might take weeks or months, or even years. I had my share of fun, and after a while I realise they're all just the same really. Pure physical sex and nothing more.

Anyhow, just feel like writing to let you all know I'm doing good now. I'm finishing my study, feeling better health wise, taking care of my emotions and preparing myself to go back to my homeland.

In all honesty, I'm not sure if it's the best decision I made, but I believe at one point I have to go back and serve my nation in one way or another. I do plan to move out afterwards, and we'll see how that goes in a couple of years. The job that I'll be starting this October is also dependent upon my result, and truth to be told, I'm not doing particularly well at the moment due to disinterestedness, but I'll manage. I can look for another job if it's not going as planned, so I'm not worrying too much about that really. My only focus now is to finish my study and what comes afterwards is another story that I'm very open to. Luckily my parents are very supportive, they don't mind what kind of job I'll end up doing, even small paying job, their only hope is that I'm honest in my work and do it diligently. I can't ask for more.

I hate the pressure of expectations, just because I have a Master's degree, and spent my years abroad after school, that I should be doing some important job. People keep asking me about what kind of job I'll be doing and how much it pays, it's quite annoying really. But looking at Malaysia's current situation, with the fall of our currency and the political instability that have been going on for such a long time, I can see why the pressure is there. It's simply the need to survive, and the need to sustain oneself and those that depend on us. I sincerely hope things will get better of course. On that note, hopefully Bersih 4.0 tomorrow will show the kind of hope that we all share.

Until then, hope everything is well with you too, whoever you are dear readers :)