Family Matters

It's true what they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Certainly the absence by distance couldn't be more fitting to this for any relationship be it family or couples.

I miss my family a lot, and it's also primarily the reason why I chose to go back to Malaysia once I finish my study here. I can choose to stay or travel abroad, but I thought, "going back home for a year or two wouldn't hurt." I missed a lot of things, my younger sisters growing up to be a woman, my older sisters getting their jobs, buying cars etc, my parents venturing into their near retirement period, my newborn cousins that me and my sisters finally have after been the only grandchildren to my grandparents for almost 20 years, and so many other things. It's hard to see everyone's having fun with one another while I'm here messing around my life with study and other things like having sex with strangers.

Technology is indeed a life saver these days. I can't imagine how it was back in the days where all they had was the traditional written letters and incredibly expensive international calls.

With that being said though, since I'm usually busy with a lot of things, my mother would usually be the one who ring me. She won't call regularly but when she did we talked for more than an hour. My dad on the other hand is the typical father type who don't speak a lot but would occasionally drop a call to say hi and asked me to always keep God dearly in my life. Amen.

So my mom called a couple of days ago, it was midnight back at home, so there must be something going on. She would usually dozed off around 10pm, so I know there was something bothering her. Perhaps because of the fact that I am her only son, she really pamper me. The thing is I'm not pampered at all, and I feel bad sometimes because it's like I'm not being grateful enough to the attention I get. My eldest sister get so jealous about this, but I sincerely believe my parents don't play favourites, every parent loves their children equally.

Anyhow, she was stressed that night, and needed someone to talk to. As with many other occasions, that would usually be me, especially if it's related to family matters. She was stressed because she felt jealous with her friends and cousins who are breaking the news of their sons and daughters getting married. You see, she desperately want an in-law, and since my eldest sister is 26 yeas old now and single, she's worried that my sister would be too old to get married later.

This might be the typical Asian, or Malay specifically about unwed girls who are working and is getting old. Since I'm a bit westernised as one can say, I don't really see the problem. I always mentioned that if my sister finds someone she loves then she will get married eventually, until then just let her live her life and don't be worry. But my mom doesn't buy into that primarily because my sister have so many suitors and so many guys asking for her hand. I admit that she is beautiful, with clear white skin, and is currently working as a house officer (junior doctor) in a hospital. It's only natural people would fall for her. Some people have been waiting for more than two years for her.

We're not sure what her problem is, but she never liked the men who came to ask her in marriage. And let me tell you, some of these men are handsome, very manly, professional, highly successful and one of them is a senior engineer with loads of money...OMG, what's wrong with her right. I mean, I want men to follow me like that and wait for like 5 years for me too! I don't understand girls, but this girl is my sister and as my mother put it, "you're the only male left after your father and you will soon have to bear the responsibility of keeping this family together once your father passed away." Pretty big thing to say to your only son truth to be told but it is what it is, I have to be a man of the family too.

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So we talked about my sister that night and how my mother was feeling worried and sad for her. At the same time she ran out of idea what to say to the people and parents who kept asking for my sister for their sons. I share her feeling, I mean it's not just men who are waiting, it's men and their bloody families too. I can only shook my head and sighed.

Now the interesting part is, my mother since feeling so worried to find a man for my sister settled her eyes on my friend. My mother met my friend when she came over to visit me two years ago. And this friend of mine is my junior and I have treated him like my younger brother for as long as I can remember. It was my mother's plan to fix them together and inevitably because I'm his friend and I'm also the 'man' of the family, I will have to follow suit into this matchmaking game. It's weird yes, but I've talked to my junior about it - which is super awkward when you say to your junior, "hey do you wanna get married with my older sister?" Imagine that!

There are some issues of course. Age difference being one, but luckily both are fine with it. My junior obviously still studying and at the same place as I am - so marriage while studying and long distance relationship must be considered. Then to put things more worryingly, they never met one another, apart from being friends on Facebook and occasional messages (after being asked by me and my mother that is).

However worryingly it is, it seems like my sister is opening up the opportunity for my junior to be her partner but not for the one that's already waiting for her. It's a gamble really. We are trying to fix a date where they can meet, and settle on some time during the upcoming Eid celebration. What with my sister being a doctor, it's hard for her too to spend time off. Which is why my mother is so worried she would never find the time for a man once she's progressing up in her medical career.

I really hope it will go well. As much awkward as it is to discuss this thing with my junior, he is a very nice person. We were from the same school, I took care of him when he arrived here in the foreign land, I made sure his welfare was taken care of, I was the person he would confide to when he has problems. So I know him well. Note that though I'm gay, I have absolutely zero emotional or sexual attachment in terms of homosexual relationship with friends. I really treat him like my younger brother so I know he would be a good husband to my sister. What better way to help your family than to really provide them the best person you know. After all, we have been friends for many many years so it would be easy to adjust with new face in the family since we know each other so very well already.

As for my sister, it's at least a relieved for me and my mother when she is considering my friend. We noticed that she might want this to work out, but we have to make sure that the feeling is reciprocated. Until then, what we have to do is wait for the time when they'll meet and see if they are really suitable for one another or not.

Arranged marriage is not something of my liking, but ironically I am essentially arranging one for my sister. Oh the irony of life :)